My mother Zahra went back to school to get her degree in the late 80s. Back then, my father Ben worked at his restaurant all day on Sundays. Saturday was family day. On Sundays, my mom would study the entire day and my sister Sanaz and I would rent a movie or just hang out. Sanaz would oftentimes put on her roller blades and we would go down to the market and grab something to eat. I would drive my electric chair and my sister would hold while I towed her. (By the way, my good friend in college got wind of this and for some reason he never wore his shoes, he always wore his roller blades around campus.)
One day, my sister and I grabbed a bite to eat like we always did. While we were eating, this older woman came up to our table and said, it's so nice of you to take your brother out. It stung a little. After all, I am the older brother and when you are 16 and 13, that is a huge age difference. (It's like 40 and 60.) I did not dwell that much about anything at that age. The only thing I really dwelled on is whether my baseball cards would stay in mint condition. Very important to a geek like me. I honestly thought baseball cards were the best investment in the whole world. Oh yeah, what a geek I was. It's no wonder I went to business school.
The question still remains: were we hanging out or was she taking me out? Back then it was no big deal, but as I've transitioned into adulthood the question still remains. When I call a friend and ask them to hang out, am I really asking them to hang out or is the underlying question, "will you take me out?" It stinks, but it's always in the back of my mind. Now, there were times when I had a driver to take me to meet my friends and that eased my sense of discomfort. Don't get me worn, I did not sit there for hours and hours thinking about the issue. It's just something in the back of my mind that I wanted to get out. After all, even though the blog is for you guys, hey, can't I vent? More importantly, when I post a blog like this, I just want you to say, hey, I don't have to go through what the guy in the chair is going through. Go ahead, say that. You have my permission.
By the way, if you want to hang out, let me know!