A sign of success is the ability to deal with challenges in a way that has a minimum effect on your goals. It is essential to frame our challenges properly. We want to demonstrate to ourselves and others that we are the type of person that can succeed despite challenges.
The problem is that instead of dealing with our challenges, we publicly complain about them without wanting to provide many solutions. This signals to others and yourself that you are not willing to do the work necessary to succeed.
Publicly when I write or present, I am very aware and careful about framing my challenges. There is a big difference between saying “here is my problem’ and “here’s my problem, and this is what I’m doing about it.” In most instances, the latter is always a better way to go. Unfortunately, we are in an environment where complaining the loudest is rewarded.
Don’t fall into that trap.
Although dreams and goals are an integral part of success, they must be rooted in reality. It’s okay to aim for the stars. However, there is the possibility of reality limiting life. An entrepreneur has to be aware of the viability of a product, and an athlete might be limited by their physical ceilings.
As a lifelong dreamer and a disabled person, I often must balance my dreams and reality. Sometimes this is frustrating because I see people every day who don’t have to deal with the challenges I have to face. Physical challenges do not hinder them in the same way I am hindered.
I think this opens up doors that I could not imagine opening. If I weren’t disabled, I may have been out there hustling or getting on the phone and may have missed the beauty of life.
My disability forces me to sit down and communicate the lessons I have learned from watching the world from a wheelchair.
One thing that I feel that we must never forget is that we are all in this together. We share this planet, and in some cases, we share a country. We have to stand together. We have to work together.
The only question is… how?
Here are some ideas.
Focus less on the differences between you and other people. We all have a human experience; some people struggle more than others. Give people grace. Try to understand them. Understand that no matter how many challenges you have in your life, other people have challenges too.
Find common ground. Find the humanity in others. Give people more grace than you believe they deserve. Let some, but not all, behaviors go. Rise above pettiness. Understand that people are not always out to get you.
Just be better.
Tom Brady just announced his retirement from the NFL after 23 years. Part of my process is looking at what makes people successful and writing about the lessons. I am also a sports fanatic. Sports are an excellent place to find concepts that I can write about. Athletes at the apex of their sports, commitment, competition, ego, and winning are all concepts that we can learn from.
Although in 2015, the Patriots and Tom Brady broke my heart by beating my Seattle Seahawks, he is still one of my favorite athletes of all time. He won MVPs and several Super Bowls and holds some of the most coveted NFL records for a quarterback.
Here are a few lessons that we can all learn from Brady. These lessons are anecdotes I heard over the years.
When we have new goals, new dreams, or want to improve our lives oftentimes there is an unreasonable expectation that we should see results right away. But, unlike putting food in a microwave, and hearing a ding thirty seconds later, results come slowly and some results may not come for months or even years. I know nobody wants to admit this, but this is the truth.
Instead of focusing on results, focus on changing the trajectory of your life. We are on a certain trajectory in our financial life, our health, our professional life, and other critical aspects of our life. Instead of focusing on changing your life, focus on changing the trajectory of your life.
If you are in a car or even walking somewhere and you realize that you need to change directions because you are going the wrong way, wouldn’t you change your direction? And just because you change your direction does not mean you are automatically there. It...
This is my last post of the year. Wow!!! It has been amazing. This last post is going to be a simple message.
One way to achieve success is to really focus on others. This allows you to get out of your own head and see life through others' perspectives. Learn how to help people achieve their goals and in turn, it will make it easier to achieve your goals. The late Zig Ziglar said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”
Whenever I write, put out content, or just talk to others, I focus on the way I can make them feel, help with their challenges, give comfort, give ideas, and make them laugh. This allows me to get out of my own head and not be focused on my disability. Basically, this has saved me in challenging times.
Remember this is the time of year for giving. Instead of giving being an empty process, let it be fulfilling, enriching, and...
As we wind down 2022, I want you to get a head start on your goals. I don’t want you to make rash and hasty goals sometime in January. I want you to get in touch with your goals, what they mean to you, the challenges involved, and why they mean so much to you.
This process doesn’t have to be very long. It could be writing down your goals. It could be taking a walk without your phone and thinking about your wants. It could be meeting up with a supportive friend and getting a lot of advice.
This process should not feel like work.
Make it fun. Make it inspiring. Make it meaningful.
Make 2023 amazing.
As we wrap up this year, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with obligations, trying to relax, thinking about what you want to do next year, juggling different schedules, and other end-of-year things.
One habit that I have been thinking about is the habit of just being joyful and this is the time of the year to really practice that joyfulness. It’s easy to lose joy when your parking spot is taken, when you put the wrong credit card number into a website, or when people complain that you got them the wrong size.
It’s up to you to find joy in your life even when your joy is being attacked from all directions. Focus on your loved ones. Focus on serving others. Focus on the things that make you smile.
Focus on the blessings in your life and keep the joy bubbling.
Every year I write about gratitude in a Thanksgiving message. My view about gratitude has grown and evolved. Instead of a feel-good concept, I believe that gratitude is a principle of success.
By nature, people are negative because our brains are wired to look for threats. We are designed not to be a predator's lunch. This means that we are constantly scanning for threats.
Modern life has mostly eliminated those threats. Emotions are chemicals released by the brain. The same chemicals that told us that a bear was on the horizon are the same chemicals that are released when we get cut off on the freeway, encounter a rude waiter, or misunderstand a text from a loved one.
Imagine that you have two friends. One friend is busy and hard to get hold of, but when you hang out with them, you get encouragement and positivity.
You have another friend who is always popping up and even comes by unannounced. However, every time you see them, they...
We live in a society, and societies have norms and values. We may each be individuals, but together we make up a larger whole. This larger group that we are all part of depends upon each and every member. One trend that bothers me is that we can get stuck in our own echo chamber and in our own challenges. This can be dangerous because when you do this you have very little room for growth and it can separate you from the greater society.
I feel that I have grown over the last year. I’m taking on bigger and bigger challenges. I’m shaping my sons’ lives. I’ve pushed myself to go engage with people who may not be part of my usual group. I’m getting ready to take my professional life to a new level. Part of that process is getting new ideas and getting out of my echo chamber. I rely on a team. I challenge myself with new ideas. I immerse myself in personal development. I listen more than I...