Feelings and Habits

blog Apr 14, 2019

When people set goals, they are excited. However, when people are working on their goals, they have other feelings that can get in the way. A person who wants to lose weight does not always feel like going to the gym. A person who wants to improve their relationship may not feel like having a tough conversation. Every goal has activities that a person does not feel like doing. With regards to habits, these feelings can get in the way and can block out positive intentions.

Mel Robbins writes in her book The 5 Second Rule:

We like to think that we use logic or consider our goals when we make decisions but that’s not the case. According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, it’s our feelings that decide for us 95% of the time. You feel before you think. You feel before you act. As Damasio puts it, human beings are “feeling machines that think” not “thinking machines that feel.” And that’s how you ultimately make decisions–based on how you feel.

She goes on to say:

Here’s how feelings keep you from changing. When you stop to consider how you feel, you stop moving toward your goal. Once you hesitate, you’ll start thinking about what you need to do, you’ll weigh the pros and cons, you’ll consider how you fell about what you need to do, and you’ll talk yourself out of doing it.

Robbins’ 5 Second Rule is a tool to perform the activities that people struggle to achieve. As soon as you think about doing something, especially something challenging, your mind automatically thinks of reasons that you should not. The answer is counting backwards from five and actually doing it. This prevents your brain from coming up with reasons why you should not do it.

She also talks about how people are not afraid of hard work, but, rather, they are afraid of the stress that is associated with the work. Calling customer service is not necessarily hard, but it can be stressful. There are so many reasons that may deter you from making the call, such as having to stay on hold or being transferred to the wrong department or never speaking to an actual person.

When we think about these moments of stress, they have the potential to make our habits more negative because it’s easier to avoid stress than to push through.

It would be nice to have the emotion of excitement when we go after our goals. When we set goals, it’s exciting because we imagine the possibilities of life. One of the goals of amazing success is to inject our lives with positive possibilities and get excited about them. A payment for a dream is sacrifice and those sacrifices are the other emotions that you need to consider when achieving your goals. These feelings can interrupt your habits and routines. Feelings such as fear, anxiety, frustrations, boredom, embarrassment, and many negative emotions are part of the journey to amazing success.

One critical factor to keep in mind is avoiding these emotions and turning them into comfort and excitement in the moment. This battle is inside all of us and can prevent you from reaching amazing success.

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