For the last three weeks I have been writing about how people don’t really get a chance to know each other. Now I am going to take the complete opposite approach–because I’m crazy like that.
If we look at everything in our lives to make a decision, we are going to get overwhelmed and confused. We can’t take everything into account. We cannot take into assumption everything that might happen. We are getting judged every day on what might seem to be superficialities, but are they really? Are you more likely to buy a house from a guy in a suit than a guy in shorts? Is that a fair assumption? Is the guy in shorts really serious about selling a house, and even if he is, does he show it?
If we think about a first date between a man and woman, whether or not they are going to go out on a second date or third date–or get married–is based on these tiny little microcosms; things such as not yelling at the waiter, not texting at the table, or whether they get dressed up or not. Is that fair? Maybe not. But it’s how people make decisions.
As someone who has interviewed over one hundred people, my decision to hire someone or not often comes down to how the conversation flowed. Sometimes if I didn’t like even one sentence, that turned me off. People repeat their behavior over and over again. No matter how much they try to hide it, they might be able to get away with it once or twice but in the long run, how they act in one situation tells a lot about how they’re going to react in another situation. If something goes wrong like a car breaking down, their reaction can be indicative of how they’re going to react when something goes wrong in their relationship. Are they going to panic and pout? Or are they going to try to find a solution? Do they complain or do they call the mechanic right away?
Although looking at a life through these microcosms can be useful, it also can be very dangerous. What if somebody is having a bad day? I know for me, there have been days where I’ve just snapped. I certainly would not want someone else to look at that and say, That Sourena is a mean and bitter guy.
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