Last week I put up a blog post called Taking it Easy. First, let me report that right after I put up the post, I sent Kristi home early, turned on the USC game, shut off my computer, and went to lunch with my mom. Admittedly, maybe watching the Lakers game was not the best way to relax, because I become more neurotic during intense games. If they actually won the game instead of losing it, I would be more relaxed.
I received a comment on my post criticizing me for missing the mark:
Guess what… you are missing something right now! Not sure what it is but you are indeed missing it; that is how life works. I thought you were a marketing major? You should understand that human desires and emotions can be shaped and formed based upon perception versus reality. How many folks buy a new car thinking it will make them happier, sexier, etc? I read your book “Love Your Life…” and the one thing that struck me about you is your craving need and active search for what you do not have. In the book and even now you always mention your search for love and you write about it in very romantic, and unrealistic terms. Part of loving your LIFE is living YOUR life; the real life you have in front of you now. I truly enjoy reading your material but what turns me off to your content, sometimes, are those moments when you talk romantically about what you do not have. By setting up these romantic ideals of what you want you are creating a situation where when you do have it IT will never live up to what you imagined. Thank you for the provocative topic I enjoy it when you challenge yourself and us readers. Now go enjoy some ESPN :).
First off, I truly appreciate this kind of comment because it helps me share my perspective with other people. There is no doubt that I am seeking a romantic life. The point of the blog post was the very fact that I need to celebrate what I have and not focus on what I don’t. I am the first person to admit that I am overly-focused on achieving every single one of my goals.
In the comment, it mentioned that I am looking for the ideal life. And to tell you the truth, there are parts of my fantasies that are ideal, but I understand that my life would never live up to the ideal.
When I think about a relationship with a woman, the ideal paints a picture of my hypothetical life: walking on a beach with her, cooking for her, driving if she gets tired, and many more things. I admit that I’ve daydreamed about these things, but have had to painfully give them up. With that being said, it would be incredible to have a relationship in my current state. Yes, it’s romantic, but it’s far from ideal.
In 2005, I dated my ex-girlfriend for a year, and it was one of the best years of my life. We broke up this time in 2006. I have only had a couple of dates in five years. I hear men complain, oh, I haven’t had a date in a month! It’s been five years. I wish that I could just let go, but I can’t. The truth is that really successful people are a bit neurotic, and that’s okay. It was the most beautiful year of my life and I want to create something similar to that or something completely different but just as good.
I appreciate my friends, family, or in this case random Internet people telling me that I should stop and smell the roses because I do.
It’s an interesting dichotomy that I struggle with each and every day.