Here's a simple truth that changes everything: what you put into your life is what you get out of it. Sounds obvious, right? Yet so many people live as if they're waiting for some mysterious force to transform their circumstances. They're holding out for luck, for timing, for the stars to align. But I'm here to tell you—your destiny isn't written in the stars. It's written in your daily choices.

One of my favorite quotes is from Lao Tzu, and I loved it so much that I put it at the very beginning of my third book, Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life. It goes like this: "Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

This quote captures something profound about how life actually works. The building blocks of your entire existence start with your thoughts. Right now, you're thinking about a dozen things—how challenging your day has been, what your family needs, your work responsibilities, the bills piling up, whether you remembered to get gas. These thoughts are constant, relentless, unavoidable.

But here's what most people don't realize: those thoughts don't just stay in your head. They become the words you speak to yourself and others. You interpret everything through these words. This is too hard. This isn't fair. Why do I have to deal with that person? These words become the stories you tell yourself about every situation in your life. Traffic was awful. Your coworker was rude. Your kids are grumpy. Notice how these interpretations start shaping your reality?

Those words then drive your actions. And when you repeat those actions over and over, they solidify into habits. We're always reacting to the world around us, and here's the key—the quality of your reactions is directly connected to the quality of your life. Your actions and habits shape your character and your reputation. This is where everything comes together. This is your life.

If you want an amazing life, you have to become amazing yourself. Most people assume that something external has to change first. They're waiting for the economy to improve. They're hoping some politician will ride in like a knight in shining armor. They're the actor hoping to get discovered in a coffee shop, or the athlete waiting for a scout to notice them on the field, or the entrepreneur thinking they just need to get on Shark Tank to make it big.

But success doesn't work that way. The question is: what's the best way to take control of your destiny and embrace Lao Tzu's wisdom?

Let me start with thoughts. Taking control of your mindset means taking control of your thoughts. As human beings, it's way too easy to lose control here. We've all obsessed over things we should have let go immediately—the person who cut us off in traffic, a loved one's offhanded comment, a tone of voice that rubbed us the wrong way. For the sake of controlling your life, you must let go of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

As someone living with a disability, I have plenty of negative thoughts. Why is this more challenging for me? Why do I have to depend on others? Often, dealing with the psychological weight of my disability is harder than the physical limitations. I learned a long time ago that I need to let go of—or flat-out ignore—most negative thoughts that bubble up. You have to create space for positive thoughts by releasing the negative ones.

Which brings me to words. When it comes to my disability, I rarely use the word "hard." Although my life has challenges, my life is amazing. I'm surrounded by incredible people. I've always had a bed to sleep in, good food on the table, and amazing support. Using the word "hard" feels like it disrespects the blessings in my life and the struggles of people who face far greater challenges than mine. Words matter. The words you choose are critically important.

Words also signal to others what you value. When you interact with people—whether through text, phone, email, or face-to-face—your words reveal your priorities, your values, what you're trying to accomplish. Using words that show gratitude, enthusiasm, and commitment can be powerful. It's an integral part of taking control of your destiny.

Now let's talk about actions and habits. The quality of your actions determines the quality of your life. Those repeated actions become habits. Being able to develop high-quality habits is essential to your level of success. If you want to improve your life, you must improve the quality of these actions and habits.

Being willing to do what most people won't is critical to the level of success you'll achieve. Adopt habits like building genuine collaborations, being a lifelong learner, committing harder than your peers, and loving and respecting others. These are the powerful habits that successful people share.

When you consistently execute on these habits at a high level, you develop character. Your identity strengthens. Your reputation improves. People notice. This leads to more opportunities you can leverage.

Finally, all this work leads to a more fulfilling destiny. And here's the beautiful part—because you've earned your success through deliberate effort, you'll feel a deep satisfaction and pride that you took control of your destiny rather than letting it be determined by chance and circumstance.

The throughline is simple but powerful: what you put into your life is what you get out of it. Start with your thoughts. Choose your words carefully. Execute consistent actions that become powerful habits. Build your character. And watch your destiny unfold exactly as you designed it.

The power to change your life isn't out there somewhere. It's in your hands right now. Take control of your thoughts today, and you'll be taking control of your destiny.