The Counter Argument to my Destiny Post
I know it’s probably bad for an author to write a post arguing one of their previous posts, but if I don’t examine this, I might not understand both sides. After all, a good debater can argue both sides seamlessly. My whole hearted belief is that there is a perfect situation out there for anybody who wants it. I can honestly say that I have had a dose of everything I wanted in life. I’ve tasted everything that I wanted to taste. I have had more than a few all-nighters with the boys, I’ve had crazy Vegas trips, I was in love for a year, I had some amazing opportunities as a speaker, I won awards for my writing, and much more than that. I am loved by my parents.
The point is coming, I promise.
There’s a part of me that feels besides my parents, in my life, that many of the events I just described were not constant. They were just a taste. I only had a girlfriend for one year. Starting when I was 27. I never got the challenge to date in my teens, early 20s, and so on. I spent many years struggling with my disability and if there is a reason that I am disabled, why did it have to come with heartache and pain?
I have had a lot of chance encounters that turned out to be some of my most memorable relationships, but what if I was going to go out one night and was too tired to go? Or got to where I was going and was not in the mood to talk to anybody? Or what if I was so occupied with my friends that I missed out on talking to a girl in the corner who might have been the one?
In 2004, I went to a bar with my friend and as soon as I got there this girl started dancing with me. (Yes, I can dance. It’s not pretty, but I can do it.) We exchanged contact information and I started to email her. We met up a couple times but I could tell that it was just one-sided. There was no ebb and flow. I decided to put my profile online on Match.com. I was not really active on it, but basically after a few weeks, this girl emailed me and we dated for a year.
The story above sounds like a counter-point to my counter-point. (Am I getting too philosophical for you?) What really irks me sometimes is that what if I miss something as simple as a night out with friends or what if I meet a woman and she makes assumptions about what my disability is all about.
We have all heard stories about how people in love almost didn’t meet. But what if for every story of people who met, there’s a hundred stories of people who didn’t? I am positive that there were girls on Match.com who read the part about my disability and got scared off. When I was looking for a job, there were hundreds of intangibles that I could not explain in an interview.
I don’t mean to sound pessimistic. No matter what I say, life is beautiful, but life can get boring and it can kick your butt at some time or another. I can say one thing for sure, and that is the more you put yourself out there, the more of a chance you will be that one who says, I can’t believe that happened. It must be destiny.
PS, I can’t wait to write the counter-point to the counter-point.
Timelapse - Lighthouse (Oct 2012) from IMK Digital Multimedia on Vimeo.
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