Think about the last time you wanted to make a change in your life. Maybe you wanted to start a business, get in shape, or finally write that book. What stopped you? If you're like most people, it probably wasn't a lack of resources or time. It was the story you told yourself about why it couldn't work.

Here's the truth: the stories we tell ourselves can either hold us back or propel us forward. These stories shape our decisions, and those decisions determine the quality of our lives. If we want to achieve greater success, we need to challenge these narratives and rewrite them to fit what needs to happen.

I know this firsthand. I grew up in a wheelchair because of a doctor's negligence. It would have been easy to let that define me, to build a narrative around limitation and what I couldn't do. But my parents had different plans. They were entrepreneurs who preached joy and happiness at every turn. They never allowed negativity in our home, even though their lives weren't easy. They never showed the challenges of raising a kid with a disability. Instead, they handed me an amazing narrative—one built on possibility, not restriction.

That narrative became my foundation. It taught me that while I couldn't control what happened to me, I could control the story I told myself about it. And that's made all the difference.

Where Your Narrative Comes From

Understanding where your narrative originates is crucial because once you see it's just a collection of opinions, you realize those opinions can be changed or strengthened. Our narrative is based on life experiences, with a disproportionate emphasis on what happened during childhood.

According to Jen Sincero, author of the Badass series, when we're kids, we process our environment through the people we interact with most. If you heard that you should clean your plate because there are starving kids all over the world, it might lead to overeating as an adult. If you heard that money doesn't grow on trees or that successful people were somehow evil, that might lead to resenting the wealthy or developing a scarcity mindset. If you were told that athletics get in the way of academics, you might carry that belief into adulthood and pass it on as a generational limitation.

As we mature into adolescence and adulthood, we accumulate unique experiences—some empowering, some defeating. One person might have an idea shot down and learn to stay quiet. Another might be encouraged to pursue their wildest goals. One person falls into a friend group that's ambitious. Another falls into a group that constantly gets in trouble. This process continues throughout our lives.

The Role of Luck

Then there's luck—both good and bad. I view luck as anything outside the norm. Getting robbed, being in a verbally abusive relationship, or having a business partner steal from you—that's bad luck. Meeting the love of your life and thinking relationships are easy, hitting the stock market at just the right time, or going viral on the internet—that's good luck.

Both types of luck are part of any success journey, but they don't come equally, and they're outliers. They don't tell us the truth about how life typically goes. Remember, I'm in a wheelchair because of medical negligence. It would be easy to avoid having kids because of the idea that somehow history would repeat itself. Just because someone got lucky hitting one stock doesn't mean they're a savvy investor or that it will happen again.

How We Interpret Experiences

Here's what's critical: experiences alone don't affect your narrative. It's how you interpret or process those experiences. Two people can get fired from a job. One person sulks around the house for months. Another gets a better job within days. One person goes through a breakup and becomes jaded. Another decides to get in shape, improve their life, and find something better.

Adversity can be the best teacher, but you have to be ready to learn. You have to be willing to glean the lessons adversity is offering you.

Challenging Your Narrative

Every narrative can be challenged, and many narratives actively hold you back. If you're afraid of falling in love because you don't want to get hurt, or you won't start a business because you watched a friend fail, you might be missing life-changing opportunities.

Every goal you have and every challenge you face needs an empowering narrative. Successful entrepreneurs share certain throughlines: resilience, creativity, team building, and a growth mindset. If you want to become a bodybuilder, run a marathon, or fit into those jeans, it takes a narrative that supports healthy eating habits, consistent workouts, and quality sleep.

If you've experienced trauma—as a child or adult—it takes a specific narrative to challenge those feelings and learn how to put those raw, powerful emotions into perspective. As someone with a disability, part of my daily process is understanding how to deal with both the physical aspects and the emotional ramifications. To be honest, sometimes I don't do a great job. But the narrative I've built around grit, personal responsibility, and just finding a way keeps me moving forward.

The Messages You Consume

Another crucial part of your narrative is the stories you hear and how much attention you pay to them. We get stories from loved ones, friends, colleagues, books, news, podcasts, social media, and countless other sources. The conversations we have, what we think about, and what we watch influence us in ways we don't always realize.

To rewrite your narrative or challenge the stories you tell yourself, start by listening to and embracing better stories. If you want to lose weight, spend time with people who have healthy lifestyles and learn from them. If you want to advance in your career, find a successful leader who can inspire and coach you. If you want to write a book, attend writers' conferences, read books on the craft, and watch videos about the writing process.

The bottom line: to change your narrative, you must want to change. You must change the messages you're hearing, paying attention to, and implementing in your life.

The Power to Rewrite

Remember, most stories aren't etched in stone. They're not even written in ink. They're written with a number 2 pencil. They can be rewritten and challenged. Although something can be one hundred percent true, that story might still be holding you back.

Start by understanding what you want out of life. Look at what you're doing and examine the stories behind your actions. Then assess whether these stories are helping or hindering you. Understand that beneficial stories can be strengthened and harmful ones can be rewritten.

It might be as simple as spending time with a friend who has a strong, empowering narrative. It could be hanging out with a neighbor who consistently accomplishes cool things. It might mean reading certain books or watching YouTube videos that support your specific goals.

The stories you tell yourself today will become your reality tomorrow. So go out there and rewrite that narrative. Make it one that serves you, empowers you, and moves you toward the life you actually want to live.