Would you go to the gym if you didn’t have a trainer? Would you stick to a diet if your partner wasn’t doing it with you? Be honest now. The encouragement or discouragement we receive can have major implications.

If you’re considering a career change they your loved ones think it’s too risky, their hesitance might hold you back. But if those same people cheer you on, you’ll feel more confident with that support, even when the going gets tough. I’ve been fortunate to always have encouragement. My parents supported my dreams and did whatever they could to help me push forward. I also have great friends who encourage each other. I’m always talking with my buddy Chris about the latest books we’re reading or my friend Adam about smart investments. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once wisely said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” So, think twice about who you choose to keep around!

Encouragement is an important component of success because no matter how tight you are with someone, it's unrealistic to expect anyone in your life to meet you exactly where you want or need them to be. People exist independently of you. They are all working toward their own goals, with different perspectives and life experiences. The people you rely on, or who rely on you, won’t always be there to fulfil your needs the moment you require it. When encouragement comes, it can be a beautiful thing. But it might not arrive at the moment you need it. The trick is to funnel all types of encouragement back into whatever you’re working towards. It’s a kind of alchemy. You can turn a “good job” comment at the office into a “you’re getting mighty” while pushing weights at the gym. It might seem strange to tuck a compliment away in your pocket for motivation later on, but it really does work.

On the flip side, not everyone will have the same work ethic, viewpoint, or approach to life as you. If someone isn’t understanding your words, they’re probably not trying to be difficult or unhelpful. They simply have a different way of looking at things. In those situations, it’s better to adjust your actions rather than trying to change them. Instead of expecting everyone to see things your way and offer encouragement when you need it, meet people where they are and try to understand their challenges and aspirations.

In a professional setting, this might mean understanding what your boss or clients need from you right. Perhaps they need your support and encouragement. Being empathetic without becoming overly sympathetic is crucial here. If you allow others’ problems to weigh you down, you can lose sight of your own path.

Some days are just hard, and there’s no way around it. Fighting against that reality by always needing encouragement will only set you up for failure. A healthy relationship doesn’t need encouragement all the time. It simply accepts others for who they are. Expecting people to know what you need without communicating your needs is not just unrealistic, it’s the height of arrogance. If someone isn’t meeting your needs in a relationship, it’s worth having a conversation. If that doesn’t work, you may need to adjust your expectations or seek support elsewhere. If you don’t communicate your expectations, don’t blame others when things don’t go your way.

We want everyone to fit into specific roles at the exact right time, but life often doesn’t work that way. A friend should be supportive, and a spouse should be receptive, but they aren’t robots. They’re real, human people. It’s important to recognize people’s limitations and not hold them to impossible standards. Equally, don’t enable people to let you down or make excuses for their flaws. Actions are everything. It’s a common mistake to think, “That’s not the real them,” when, in fact, it is. As Maya Angelou famously said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Acceptance doesn’t mean you agree with or tolerate bad behavior. It means you recognize who people are and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Much of the stress in relationships comes from misguided expectations. If you need encouragement from time to time, then it’s important to mention that. Think about it from your perspective, wouldn’t you like to know that your friend sometimes needs a pick-me-up? Knowing who people are, what they’re capable of, and what they aren’t willing to do helps you manage your relationships more effectively. When you accept people for who they are and adjust your approach accordingly, you’ll find it easier to get what you need from those relationships — and you’ll be less frustrated in the process.