When people think about changing their lives, they assume something external needs to happen or that they have to make massive, overwhelming changes. The reality is simpler: if you want to change your life, you have to change your approach to life. No one is coming to save you. The cavalry isn't on its way. You have to be the catalyst of your own change, and it's critical that you take responsibility for your own life.

Change is challenging for everyone because we're habitual creatures. One advantage of being habitual is that we perform activities with our subconscious—if we had to think through everything, we'd be exhausted all the time. Imagine having to consciously process every step of brushing your teeth, driving your car, or opening your phone. Think about the countless activities you perform at your job. If you had to actively think about each one, you'd need a nap every couple of hours.

The downside to this efficiency is that it's easy for bad habits to creep in. These suboptimal habits have the potential to sabotage your success, and they compound over time.

Life is just a series of decisions and actions. The quality of these decisions and actions is strongly correlated to the quality of life you experience. This is good news because if you want to improve your life and situation, all you have to do is improve these decisions and actions. If you have a new goal or desire, all you need is to take more positive actions. Life is a series of inputs and outputs. It starts with a vision of what you want and why you want it, then determining what decisions and actions you need to take to get there. When you look at most decisions and actions individually, they're not that hard. The challenging part of achieving success isn't the work itself—it's simply being disciplined and actually putting in the effort your goals require.

It's been said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. This is how you should look at achieving your goals. Instead of focusing on what's missing, look at what needs to be implemented and done today.

What does this look like in the real world?

If two people want to improve their marriage, they don't need to book a trip to Paris. All they might need is to go out on a date night, send a flirty text, or be kinder and not pick fights. If a person wants to write a book, they probably don't need to attend a writing workshop or quit their job. All they need is to sit down and get some words on paper. For even bigger goals like starting a company, you can do something as simple as taking an hour a week to work on a business plan or spend time calling manufacturers.

If you want to be extraordinary, you have to start with ordinary steps. These ordinary steps need to be done consistently and at a high level. You have to keep chipping away at your goal, one tiny step at a time. A successful marriage means dozens of high-quality connections. A writer must consistently get words down on paper, among other tasks. A new entrepreneur must perform the activities necessary to make progress.

What stops many people from achieving their goals isn't their inability to do the work—it's the story they keep telling themselves that prevents them from doing the work. Stories like "I don't have enough time," "My family won't support me," or "I don't know where to begin."

Out of college, I wanted to write a book. My professor introduced me to a screenwriter who agreed to help me. At the time, I assumed writing a book required eight hours a day and a writing degree. The screenwriter's advice was simple: hire somebody and get some stories onto the computer. I assumed it surely couldn't be that simple, but decades later, every time I want to write, I just get stories down on paper. My process looks very similar to what it did in the beginning. It's the tiny habit of getting my thoughts onto my computer. It's not complicated. It's not hard. It's just work.

Taking control of your destiny and achieving your goals doesn't need to be a great undertaking. It just needs to be improving tiny habits that are executed at a high level.

Go out there and improve your habits. That's how you take control of your destiny.