Emotions play a part in how you go after your goals, go about your day, and deal with challenges that come up. Human beings are naturally programmed to look at the negative rather than focus on the positive. In fact, people need three positive experiences to counterbalance one negative experience. In some cases, one negative five-minute encounter can ruin some people’s day. Even worse, some people’s days are ruined when someone cuts them off on the freeway, which only takes a few seconds.
We also have to deal with life and the emotions that come with the everyday struggles. Some paths in life have more struggles than others. For example, being a pediatric oncologist involves being constantly bombarded with bad news and negative experiences. In addition, we may have unique circumstances that we have to deal with. Ingrained in my life are the negative messages and the psychological ramifications that my cerebral palsy presents. I am constantly reminded of everything...
Summer is a time when most people take some time off and take some sort of vacation. It’s also a time when many people have to adjust their schedules for the family. The bottom line is that routine and habits may loosen.
As we approach the fall, we have about three months before the holidays. Let’s make those three months as productive as possible. Here are a couple of strategies to help you make the most out of the rest of this year:
Set goals for the rest of the year
Goal setting is not just for the first of the year. You want to reevaluate your goals and set intermediate goals that support your ultimate goals. Ninety-day goals are a valuable tool to get you on the path to amazing. Also, set different kinds of goals. These can be professional, relationship, personal development, fitness, financial, and more.
Make sure habits and routines are efficient
During the summer, my two boys were home. We slept in more, and...
A big part of mindset is emotional discipline. If mindset is the way we think about our lives, go after our goals, deal with challenges, deal with others, have clarity, and other factors, then having emotional discipline is a factor for amazing success.
In order to accomplish amazing success and have a good mindset, we need to take direct actions. We need the actions that get us to amazing success. A part of every decision we make is dictated by our emotions and feelings. Human beings are not rational, robotic decision makers. They are feeling machines.
Emotional discipline touches the five keys to an amazing mindset.
Rewriting Our Narrative
Part of our narrative is based on the way we feel about issues regarding where we are now and where we want to go. It takes emotional discipline to look at our narrative and see what parts need to change.
No matter where you are in life, no matter how positive or negative, it takes emotional discipline to change or maintain your...
As I get older, I value patience more and more. Ironically, people have always remarked about my patience. They pointed to the fact that I am always willing to repeat my words, and everything takes more time, more energy, and more focus. While this is true, I never saw myself as a patient person. I was always in a hurry. When I am alone, I drive fast in my wheelchair. My brain is always going at 100 miles per hour. I love the big city.
This year, one of the habits that I value more is patience. The value that I get out of patience is that time makes a situation less reliant on emotions and more reliant on logic. In order to take direct action, you need to be more considerate.
I was working on a marketing project and I was disappointed by the results. My first instinct was to try something different right away. I had a lot of emotions and excitement invested in the project. When it didn’t go well, I was disappointed and emotional. Instead of jumping in...
The right focus is crucial for amazing success. However, it’s important to have breaks. In our culture, the 80-hour work week or total commitment is celebrated. The problem with total commitment is that it turns into an unhealthy obsession. In order for amazing success to happen, you need time to focus on something else or you need time to let your actions take effect.
As a writer, many of my ideas for blog posts, online classes, books, and other products don’t come to me when I’m in the office. They come to me when I am playing with my kids, taking a ride in my wheelchair, on vacation, or even watching tv. I also get ideas while reading other’s work about my topic.
Noah St. John writes about goal free zones, which is the idea that ideas don’t come to you while you are working on them. They come to you in the oddest of places. They come to you in the shower. They come to you while you are working out. They come to you when you are having drinks...
A critical part of amazing success is dealing with challenges or limitations without being totally consumed by them. Challenges should not be ignored and require the right amount of focus and attention. It is imperative to focus on dealing with your challenges, but not letting them consume you.
When I was 20, my disability started to consume me. Before I turned 20, my disability never seemed to get in the way. When I was growing up, all my peers needed help from their parents. They needed rides. They did not wander too far from home. After high school, people my age were moving out of their houses, going on trips without their parents, and going off to college. Shortly after my 20th birthday, my disability and my challenges consumed me. I would think about everything that my body would not allow me to do.I wondered what it be like to go off to college and everything my disability robbed me of. To say that I was focused on my disability, and everything that it prevented me from...
Last week, I wrote about focus. This week, I am writing about focus and how the right focus can lead to an amazing life. We live in a time where we have an abundance of information at our finger tips. We can literally call up any information that we want, sometimes we can even see the last thing our favorite celebrity ate, or what kind of jeans they were wearing. When I was growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, you had to buy a magazine or wait for a show to get this information.
The good news is that there’s more information than ever that can help you become amazing. There are blogs, podcasts, online classes, forums, and other avenues that can help you become amazing. On YouTube, there are funny videos, cat videos, videos of kids playing with toys, and videos that can help you live an amazing life.
The opportunities to focus on amazing are endless and abundant. On the other hand, the opportunities to be distracted and overwhelmed are ever-present. In addition, there is an...
Focus is a part of amazing success. If you go out to a restaurant with your loved ones and you are having a good time, you are laughing, enjoying a good meal. However, if the waiter is a little rude, or flippant, or just having a bad day, are you going to focus on the good food, the good company, and the great ambiance, or are you going to focus on the waiter’s negative behavior? You can take the example and extrapolate into any situation. Unfortunately, our brains are wired to focus on the negative. This wiring goes back to pre-historic times.
It’s easy to focus on the negative. It’s challenging to focus on the positive all the time. With an abundance of information comes the abundance of negative information. Now, more than ever, we are bombarded with messages about what we should do and who we should be. On the other side of the spectrum comes the abundance of messages that can empower us to be amazing. It is challenging to focus on the positive...
Part of amazing success is performing the activities that are required at a high level. When you perform these activities, they feel uncomfortable. We all have a tolerance for discomfort. Part of being amazing is increasing the tolerance for discomfort.
There is a difference between complaining about your work environment and actually looking for a new job. There is a difference between putting up with unpleasant people and changing the dynamic of the relationship. The former might be complaining to someone else. While the latter may be confronting them. Although the former may seem uncomfortable or annoying, the latter requires being really uncomfortable.
There are activities that we say are uncomfortable, but, in reality, there is some comfort in them. There is some comfort in complaining about our situation. There is some comfort in being passive aggressive. There is a comfort and ease in doing the same thing over and over. After all, we are creatures of habit. There is...
With ambitious goals comes challenges. When we have ambitious goals, we may incur obstacles and roadblocks. When we encounter these, our first instinct is to work through them or put energy towards the goal. For example, if our loved ones have a bad day or encounter an obstacle, our first instinct is to try to solve the issue. We want to quickly get past the issue. In reality, the best thing that you can do may actually be doing nothing. That’s right do nothing. Don’t even bring it up.
I was working on a project that did not yield the results that I would have liked. My first instinct was to stop what I was doing and try something else. I decided that I needed a timeout from that challenge. Once I understood what went wrong, I started to do nothing. I realized that I was too emotional and too raw to jump back into it. This was not my natural instinct. My instinct was to put more effort and more resources into my venture. I decided that I was not going to do...