When pursuing a goal, many people think challenges must be slain, like a dragon. That is simply not true. All challenges come in two broad types – external and internal – and it’s important to understand the dynamics of both and how best to deal with them.
Every year, I learn a little more about how my disability affects my life. It would be easy for me to believe that if I didn’t have this disability everything would be okay. However, that kind of narrative doesn’t help me understanding my challenges and is a recipe for stagnation.
I have been there before. It was tough for me to find a job after graduating college because even if I found employment, it was a logistical nightmare to get to work. Over the years since, I have hired many people and I always gauge whether the logistics of bringing that person on board makes financial sense for both of us. So, I cannot imagine what my old interviewers were thinking as they sat across from me, pondering what...
What’s the point of having an amazing life if it isn’t happy and satisfying? Advertising bombards us with images of what should make us happy, but too few of us take the time to define what happiness truly mean for ourselves. We just assume that happiness will one day arrive on our doorstep, like in a fairytale.
Our happiness is also constantly under attack from every angle. Little things like unexpected bills or rude people can pop up at inopportune times, clouding our happy feelings. Of course, human beings are in some ways wired for negativity which means if we’re not consciously creating happiness all the time, we can end up successful but unsatisfied. It’s a fine balance. Just as there are plenty of joyless millionaires, there are those who own nothing but always seem to be smiling.
While the key to an amazing life is aspiration, it is important to balance ambition with contentment. While my disability robbed me of some of life’s joys, I am still a...
Feedback is crucial to achieving amazing success and there is an art to giving and receiving feedback. While feedback often has a negative association, some people are naturals at offering feedback and don’t seem to mind when it comes their way.
But it’s an odd person who actually enjoys feedback. More often, people react like they are under attack or consider honest criticism to be just nitpicking or nagging. But good feedback can drastically improve the other person’s performance and help both parties accomplish mutually beneficial goals.
Below are some helpful tips on the art of giving natural feedback.
Set Expectations Early
Every new relationship is like a dance with both parties gently testing the boundaries and expectations. Each is looking for subtle indicators about whether the other party values being on time, if they will overlook white lies or what kind of language is acceptable. If expectations are not set early, the relationship can be muddled....
Searching for good feedback is a key part of success. Every athlete depends on a coach’s advice and CEOs always need the input of a board of directors before making a big decision. Feedback systems are everywhere, so why are they rarely discussed?
Top performers know that setting up a personal feedback system will help to hone their decisions, habits, routines and processes. Improving each of these factors will have an enormous impact on their success. Of course, “going it alone” is highly prized in our modern culture. But feedback can exist in harmony with individuality. However, getting the right feedback from the right people at the right time is an art.
The reason people are shy about the topic of feedback is that humans don’t really like change. Rather than grow, we prefer the comfort of our status-quo. We sense that every piece of feedback – solicited or unsolicited – will only mean more tough work at best and giving up something we love at...
While there’s still a lot of work to do, it looks like we will all emerge from the Covid-19 pandemic stronger than we went in. Everyone seems excited to get back to normal.
Unfortunately, the restrictions tied people down for long periods and created plenty of pent-up energy – and not all of it good. The media is showing video of unruly sports fans. Some folks on airplanes are also acting like fools by assaulting flight attendants (how can you get mad at the person handing out soda and snacks?). Airlines are now toying with the idea of banning alcohol service on flights until the restless post-pandemic energy dissipates.
For me, these reactions stem from a lack of perspective. Instead of looking at what was taken from us by Covid-19, we should look for what we will get back once it passes.
Our collective ways of life were attacked. We were all scared and dealt with a lot of uncertainty. But instead of looking at the pandemic as a tragedy, think about what was avoided...
Why does reaching a goal so often leave us with a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction, as if it wasn’t enough? It seems far too easy to nitpick the amazing success we achieve.
There’s a couple of reasons for this. The first is that the human brain is wired for negativity because it wants to keep us safe from threats and help us avoid being eaten by predators. That’s a good thing, but this neurological wiring has not evolved much since the caveman days. So, when the car in front cuts us off, a waiter acts in a rude way or we are forced to deal with the daily tribulations of digital life, our brains think we are being chased by wild bears and react defensively.
The second reason is that there is no such thing as the perfect experience. Every positive comes with a downside. My favorite place in the whole world is Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. However, to get there requires an hour and a half drive to the airport, a three-hour wait in the terminal, then a five-hour...
Achieving success is a bit like calibrating a constantly evolving machine. This machine is the complexities of human behavior and understanding them can drastically improve your chances of success. If you want to do more, go with the flow rather than against it. After all, it’s much easier to swim downstream than struggle upstream.
Let’s explore some of these natural tendencies.
Habits are so much more than just repeated actions. That’s only the start. Habits are the brain’s way of conserving and optimizing energy brain energy so you can focus on critical tasks. Normally, the thousands of cues and special routines performed by our unconscious aren’t a problem – in fact, we rely on them to get us through the day. But forming a new habit is more about your environment than the diminishing resources of discipline or willpower. For instance, if you switch the silverware in your kitchen even one drawer over, you will almost...
After a dismal 2020 NFL season due to Covid-19 restrictions, fans are eagerly preparing for a return to normal for the season. And the drama behind the scenes has already started.
Veteran players Aaron Rodgers of the Packers and Russell Wilson of my Seahawks said they both want more input on their teams’ decision making. Working with supremely talented people like Rodgers and Wilson can be a wonderful experience and any team should relish the opportunity to find a place for them in their strategy room.
But the two have been treated very differently over recent months. Rodgers wasn’t even consulted about plans to draft a new quarterback, dismiss his quarterback coach and a host of other significant moves last year. No franchise quarterback should ever be surprised like this.
On the other hand, Wilson’s concerns about decisions to add multiple players to Seahawks were addressed and they even hired a new offensive coordinator to ensure a smooth...
Every successful group got that way by following a set of basic values and rules. Individual success is wonderful. But there is no such thing as a lonely gunslinger. Everyone’s success is largely predicated on aligning with the norms of the wider society, professional circles or companies – not to mention the values of one’s family and friend groups.
Human groups can’t live together without a set of basic values and rules. For instance, we’ve generally decided that a red light means stops and a green light means go (an orange light is more debatable). This agreement helps humans coordinate their actions when driving cars. Traffic lights are a simple but effective method for social cooperation and avoiding crashes.
This system has worked well for nearly a century. Yet as technology advances and complicates our lives, our society is having trouble getting on the same page about its values and rules. COVID-19 tested if we could quickly come up with a plan...
Any goal can be reached by following a good methodology. It means defining the goal, planning out the steps to achieve it and then doing the work. Hoping for the best is part of the process, but success only comes from taking the correct steps.
For years, I wanted to grow my presence on social media. I read books about it and watched dozens of tutorial YouTube videos. Sure, I already posted on social media and often engaged with others on those platforms, but it wasn’t growing. I tried hiring an assistant to take over but could never find the right person. And any time I put in a little effort, it felt like such a time-sucking chore. It was only when I deployed a methodology that I accomplished my goal of creating a decent social media presence.
Whether your goal is to write a book, save money or even become an entrepreneur, focus is important – and thankfully it can be learned. Here are some pointers: