No matter who you are, you have life coming at you all the time. You must deal with the agenda of others. You must deal with your own weaknesses, insecurities, and other challenges. Nobody has a perfect life. With so much coming at us, oftentimes we take on a victim’s mindset. I want to explore what a victim mindset is and show you how to rewrite your narrative to turn that mindset into an empowering one.
It would have been easy for me to take on a victim mindset, and, if I’m not careful, a victim mindset can take over at any minute. It is so easy for a victim mindset to take over. A victim mindset is blaming our setbacks on outside factors. There is a difference between being a victim and having a victim mindset. The statement “don’t be a victim” never made sense to me. I feel that I’m a victim of cerebral palsy. Minorities should not deny the fact that racism still exists. If you are robbed, then you are a victim of robbery. The number one goal...
Let’s face it. This is one of the most challenging times and one of the most unique times that many of us have faced. We are dealing with a once in a century pandemic and the ramifications of it. We are on a doorstep of a consequential election. We are also dealing with racial questions. These are just some of the consequential issues that are before us.
My first book was about loving your life. My second book was about how people need to sacrifice for their dreams. For the past couple of years, I have been writing about how to develop an amazing mindset. In all three, one of the through lines is what you put into your life is what you get out of your life.
From a young age, my parents instilled this narrative that what you put into your life is what you get out of it. They never let me act like a victim. They always brought joy, laughter, and love to every situation. Bottom line is they are loving and helping people.
If we are going to move forward, we have...
A big part of success is developing our strengths and mindset required for whatever we want to accomplish, whether that’s growing a company, getting ahead in our industry or even raising children. Part of our narrative is what strength really means.
If I ask you to imagine a strong person, you might envision a tough, rugged, person. Unfortunately, different goals take different strengths. Our narrative about what strength is can often get in the way of developing the true strengths that are needed in order to accomplish our goals.
My disability forced me to redefine my definition of what it means to be strong. My mindset was strongly influenced by my parents who are two of the strongest people I know. Part of my father’s success was due to sheer hustle. When my dad was younger, we joked that my dad would never walk. Everything was a slow run.
The way my parents achieved success was not an option for me. I had to create my own...
Oftentimes, it’s challenging to make sense of our lives and it feels that life often happens to us. Nobody has total control over their life and circumstances. With that being said, part of our job is to take control of the aspects that we can and have faith that the rest will work itself out.
There is a popular saying that is often used to understand the randomness of life, but there is another way of looking at the statement that can be empowering.
Are you ready?
The statement is…
Wait for it…
It is what it is
Traditionally, people use this statement when life happens to them. Guess what? Life happens to everybody. If you’re human, life happens. You are going to have bad days. You are going to have unexpected expenses. You are going to have disagreements. You are going to have rude waiters. And so on. Guess what? So, does everybody else.
Realize that there are two powerful parts of life. There is reality and there is...
From the beginning of time, human beings have pondered the meaning of life. This trend continues today. We all have a certain desire to find purpose and meaning, especially the meaning of times during turmoil.
As a disabled person, I have spent countless hours wondering why I am disabled and the simplest answer is that it was a result of unfortunate circumstances at my birth. I can, and I have, pondered other crazy reasons. Did I do something in my past life? Am I meant to learn a lesson? The conclusion is that I need to live out my amazing life and the simplest explanation is empowering. It was just a set of unfortunate circumstances.
Occam’s razor is a scientific theory that the simplest answer might be the best answer. The simplest answer to the coronavirus it is a once-in-a-century unfortunate occurrence. When you make that simple conclusion, then you accept the path forward.
In college, I had a idea of writing a book. My marketing professor introduced me...
We all have dreams and goals. We also have challenges that get in the way of our goals. Lastly, we all have obligations that take up our time and energy. There is very little left over for our dreams. It seems that we are pulled in different directions. However, I believe that big dreams take small sacrifices and we can start achieving our dreams and our goals five minutes at a time.
Have you ever had an issue that annoyed you? It could be as simple as a rattle in your car. It could be a buggy computer. It could be that something small is off. More annoying than that is when a couple of weeks go by and it turns out that you fixed it within five minutes. I’m asking you to apply that to the rest of your life. I want you to start achieving your goals five minutes at a time.
Of course, it’s going to take you more than five minutes to achieve your goals, but the goal of this concept is to get you out of your old mindset and get you into a new...
One of the building blocks and engines of your life is the way you behave. Behaviors lead to actions, repetitive actions are your habits, and habits translate into the way that you live your life. If you want to improve your life, you have to shift your behavior.
A common mistake that most people have is that they want their life to improve without shifting their behavior. They blame the system, socioeconomic issues, or the fact that there are not enough opportunities. There might be great truths in these assumptions. However, your goals should not be to constantly find evidence of these truths. The goal is to shift your behavior to live out your goals and dreams.
I have been there. My disability makes part of life impossible. It makes some activities ten times more challenging. I have to deal with my physical disabilities, the psychological ramifications, and any other challenge that are part of the human condition. I have learned that I need to be focused...
Our lives can feel random sometimes. We have goals and dreams. However, we feel that life, obligations, challenges, and other outside factors get in the way of life.
One way that we can take control of our destiny is to set intentions in our lives. With that being said, no matter how intentional you are, there are going to be situations that have the potential to get in the way. If you are intentional about how you spend your money, the water heater will still break. No matter how intentional you are on your diet, you will still crave ice cream or your coworkers will bring cake. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that these random occurrences should cause you to give up. Don’t be a victim.
In order to be intentional you need to have control over your time, your energy, and your emotions.
Much of my life is dictated by the needs of my disability. It often feels that I have to get permission from my...
Let’s face it, 2020 has been one of the most challenging years. No matter who you are, your life has been altered. At the very least, you had to change part of your lifestyle. In the middle of the spectrum, you dealt with professional challenges. At the end of the spectrum, you may have lost a loved one.
One type of challenge that we face is a setback. Setbacks are just a part of life. You can do everything correctly and some setback can rear its ugly head. When my parents found out that I was going to have cerebral palsy and a lifetime of challenges, they quickly adopted the mindset of parents that have a special needs child. My whole life, I often wondered what it would be like not to have a disability. In thinking about my life, and wanting to create an amazing life, I learned the number one goal in life.
Here we go.
The number one goal in life is to improve our lives no matter where we are.
One issue that I see when dealing with life and moving...
Many people expect others to acquiesce in their every desire and requirements. They expect their environment to be set up for their success or whims. If you want to create an amazing life, you have to understand your roles in different situations. The fact is that we are all in multiple systems and, in order to succeed, we have to understand our role in those systems. We have to understand the challenges that each of those systems present. We also have to understand the opportunities that we can exploit. The problem is that we have this narrative about how life should be and we have this false ideal about how everyone should act in our world. The better we understand our world, the more opportunities we have to succeed.
We are in each other’s lives to make life better for everyone.
Throughout my life, I have struggled with a physical disability and I came to the terms that this world is not set up for somebody with my challenges. With that being said, in the United...