Playing Big

blog Feb 20, 2019

A while back, I was watching a Facebook Live with happiness expert, Gretchen Rubin. Rubin was talking about the process of decision making. One of her points that struck me was when she is in the process of decision making, she considers what decision is going to afford her to play big in her life.

This resonated with me because I am driven and motivated by having as many experiences that I can despite my disability. This includes experiences with my family, experiences with the people I love, experiences with my parents, experiences with my friends, professional experiences, and experiences that will fulfill my spirit. I take a lot of risks and put myself out there. I want to play life at a high level.

So often, we let our circumstances dictate the way we play and the way we live. Although limitations and challenges are a big part of life, they should not dictate how we go through life. Instead of letting our circumstances dictate our lives, we should let our desires and...

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Romanticizing The Past

blog Feb 20, 2019

One way to prepare for the future and plan out next steps is by looking to the past to see what worked, what went wrong, and what can be learned in order to achieve amazing success. When we look at the past, we, oftentimes, romanticize it. Somehow, we forget all the bumps in the road and don’t remember all the challenges that we faced.

The Los Angeles Lakers are embarking on the Lebron James era, which is exciting. However, it will take some time to build a contending team. Many people who are Lakers fans, like myself, romanticize the Kobe Bryant era. They want Lebron to swoop in and fix everything right away. Some Lakers fans romanticize the five championships, the game winning shots, and other great moments. But, there is another side. There were many unglamorous moments that some Lakers fans have conveniently forgotten.

Achieving amazing success is challenging. What worked for you in the past may not work for you moving forward. Just like how Lebron and the Lakers have to...

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The Imperfect Plan

blog Feb 20, 2019

When people set goals and plan out the steps, the plans are almost perfect and don’t allow for “life” to happen. They always have the best scenario in mind. For example, if they want to write a screenplay, they plan on writing without writer’s block or when they finish it, they imagine bumping into a producer at a coffee shop.

Best case scenarios rarely happen. When you plan for best case scenarios, your plan has no time to breathe. Even if you get modest results, you will be disappointed because it’s not what the plan promised. You want to include life’s little mishaps.

Sport’s teams have a plan for the unexpected. A football coach knows what to do when it’s fourth down and there are two minutes to go. A basketball coach has a plan for when they are down by three with ten seconds to go and they have the ball.

A parent who has to be out of the house in 30 minutes can’t assume that their kids will get ready right when the parent...

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The Success Principle of Gratitude

blog Feb 20, 2019

As we enter the holiday season and Thanksgiving week, I would like to revisit one of my favorite topics: Gratitude.

When I first started writing about gratitude, I assumed that it was something that would make you or anybody appreciate life. That observation is valid and important. However, the more I think about it, the more I recognize and appreciate that it is actually a success principle. It is not just something that is warm and fuzzy.

What limits many people from accomplishing their goals and their dreams are excuses. These excuses can range from “I’m not good enough” to “I don’t have the right resources” to “I don’t know where to begin.” This list can be endless. I have more excuses in my back pocket that I can use. However, I can tell myself and the world that because of my disability, my many challenges, my speech impediment, the misconceptions of others, the challenges of life even without a disability, and the list can...

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Try Goal Setting This Way

blog Feb 20, 2019

A majority of goals are based on desires and wishes. Desires to have more money, look good in the mirror, have better relationships, or write the great American novel are all examples of common goals that people make. However, when the work comes in or an inconvenience is faced or they get bored of eating chicken breasts for the fourth straight day, they abandon the goals because they want instant gratification. One of the reason that goals don’t go very far is that there is a constant battle between what gratifies someone versus the sacrifices that they need to make in order to reach their goals.

Instead of goal setting the traditional way, try this:

Come up with a personal mission that excites you and have benchmarks that can be accomplished systematically.

My mission in life is to have as many amazing experiences as I can despite my disability. For me, this includes professional experiences, personal experiences, family experiences, and more. This includes travel with my...

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Why You Should Romanticize The Past

blog Feb 20, 2019

Last week, I talked about the dangers of romanticizing the past. Most lessons in life have multiple vantage points, and, this week, I want to talk about the benefits of romanticizing the past. If people don’t have a positive view of the past, then they may be paralyzed and unable to move forward. If we nitpick everything that went wrong when we look back, we will mostly see ourselves as negative. That narrative will prevent us from moving forward. If an old couple thinks back to every argument or disagreement that they had and not focus on all the positives, then they can conclude that they had a bad relationship. If a parent only thinks about crying babies or all the times that they had to discipline their children, then they may conclude that being a parent is not that joyful.

In essence, we have to romanticize the past in order to look back and see an amazing life. While meditating, Noah St. John came up with this amazing observation. He writes, “when your opinion of...

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Disabled List

blog Feb 19, 2019

I am a huge fan of sports. During the summers, I follow the Dodgers. I have been a fan of baseball since 1988, the last year that the Dodgers won the World Series.

Major League Baseball recently changed the term disabled list or the DL to the injured list or the IL. This was because of pressure from disabled groups that were offended by the term disabled list. I never was particular about terms. I never was that politically correct. I care about my fellow human beings. However, I think we should focus on how we can enhance each other’s lives rather than worrying about a slightly offensive word or term.

For me, disabled means unable to perform. When I think about disability, I think about how it holds me back. Although I try to combat my physical disability with mindset, building a team, and other tactics, for me, being disabled means being unable to perform. So, I guess, disabled list was not offensive, but rather accurate.

One can argue that injured list is a little more...

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Empower Others

blog Oct 31, 2018

Last week, I wrote about how we made the decision to not let my son Andrew quit soccer after the couple of times he played.

Growing yourself and your business involves empowering people and trusting others in order to free up your time and energy. As you grow, everything becomes more complicated and there is no way for you to focus on everything that needs to be accomplished.

Lately, I have been talking to a lot of entrepreneurs and one consistent theme is the balance between working in the business rather than on the business. Working in the business is working on tasks and working on the business means developing a vision, coming up with new steps and leading your team. One problem is that, in the beginning, what got many entrepreneurs to a level of success is working in the business, hustling and grinding it out. A natural instinct is to keep doing the same thing and it’s challenging to change that mindset.

Relying on others is challenging. Asking for help often feels...

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Where To Begin

blog Oct 17, 2018

A common reason for not going after your goals is the challenge or the question of where to begin. This is especially true with larger goals, such as starting a company, writing a book or changing your life. The question of where to begin is a crucial one. When people fall victim to this question, they are making an excuse. This question is an uncomfortable one. But, the first step to achieving anything in life is the question of where to begin. The answer to this question is not that scary. Most people assume that they have to dive in feet first into a goal. Almost like doing a cannon ball into a pool. As you move towards beginning, I advise just dipping one toe in the water, then getting used to the feelings.

If you want to open a company, you don’t need to quit your job and just go for it. Dipping your toe can be as simple as watching a Youtube video on becoming an entrepreneur, or reading one chapter of a book about your subject area. The same thing applies to writing a...

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More About Challenges

blog Oct 10, 2018
Last week, I wrote a long post about the process of achieving your goals. I want to expound on the concept of your limitations. To recap, everybody has limitations that they assume only they have. Furthermore, they tell themselves that nobody will understand their limitations. In the past, I have looked around and saw that nobody around me is in a wheelchair or nobody around me needs as much assistance as I do. Technically, this is true. Technically, your limitations get in the way of what you want. A diabetic has to regulate their insulin. A working parent has to balance their professional and personal obligations. I have to balance the needs of my personal life with the challenges that I have to face minute-by-minute. Traditionally, it is taught that we have to ignore and focus on the possibilities. While you should focus on the possibilities, you should also focus on weaving in your challenges into the process. The irony is that, when you engage with your challenges in a positive...
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