The Success Principle of Gratitude

blog Feb 20, 2019

As we enter the holiday season and Thanksgiving week, I would like to revisit one of my favorite topics: Gratitude.

When I first started writing about gratitude, I assumed that it was something that would make you or anybody appreciate life. That observation is valid and important. However, the more I think about it, the more I recognize and appreciate that it is actually a success principle. It is not just something that is warm and fuzzy.

What limits many people from accomplishing their goals and their dreams are excuses. These excuses can range from “I’m not good enough” to “I don’t have the right resources” to “I don’t know where to begin.” This list can be endless. I have more excuses in my back pocket that I can use. However, I can tell myself and the world that because of my disability, my many challenges, my speech impediment, the misconceptions of others, the challenges of life even without a disability, and the list can...

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Try Goal Setting This Way

blog Feb 20, 2019

A majority of goals are based on desires and wishes. Desires to have more money, look good in the mirror, have better relationships, or write the great American novel are all examples of common goals that people make. However, when the work comes in or an inconvenience is faced or they get bored of eating chicken breasts for the fourth straight day, they abandon the goals because they want instant gratification. One of the reason that goals don’t go very far is that there is a constant battle between what gratifies someone versus the sacrifices that they need to make in order to reach their goals.

Instead of goal setting the traditional way, try this:

Come up with a personal mission that excites you and have benchmarks that can be accomplished systematically.

My mission in life is to have as many amazing experiences as I can despite my disability. For me, this includes professional experiences, personal experiences, family experiences, and more. This includes travel with my...

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Why You Should Romanticize The Past

blog Feb 20, 2019

Last week, I talked about the dangers of romanticizing the past. Most lessons in life have multiple vantage points, and, this week, I want to talk about the benefits of romanticizing the past. If people don’t have a positive view of the past, then they may be paralyzed and unable to move forward. If we nitpick everything that went wrong when we look back, we will mostly see ourselves as negative. That narrative will prevent us from moving forward. If an old couple thinks back to every argument or disagreement that they had and not focus on all the positives, then they can conclude that they had a bad relationship. If a parent only thinks about crying babies or all the times that they had to discipline their children, then they may conclude that being a parent is not that joyful.

In essence, we have to romanticize the past in order to look back and see an amazing life. While meditating, Noah St. John came up with this amazing observation. He writes, “when your opinion of...

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Disabled List

blog Feb 19, 2019

I am a huge fan of sports. During the summers, I follow the Dodgers. I have been a fan of baseball since 1988, the last year that the Dodgers won the World Series.

Major League Baseball recently changed the term disabled list or the DL to the injured list or the IL. This was because of pressure from disabled groups that were offended by the term disabled list. I never was particular about terms. I never was that politically correct. I care about my fellow human beings. However, I think we should focus on how we can enhance each other’s lives rather than worrying about a slightly offensive word or term.

For me, disabled means unable to perform. When I think about disability, I think about how it holds me back. Although I try to combat my physical disability with mindset, building a team, and other tactics, for me, being disabled means being unable to perform. So, I guess, disabled list was not offensive, but rather accurate.

One can argue that injured list is a little more...

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Empower Others

blog Oct 31, 2018

Last week, I wrote about how we made the decision to not let my son Andrew quit soccer after the couple of times he played.

Growing yourself and your business involves empowering people and trusting others in order to free up your time and energy. As you grow, everything becomes more complicated and there is no way for you to focus on everything that needs to be accomplished.

Lately, I have been talking to a lot of entrepreneurs and one consistent theme is the balance between working in the business rather than on the business. Working in the business is working on tasks and working on the business means developing a vision, coming up with new steps and leading your team. One problem is that, in the beginning, what got many entrepreneurs to a level of success is working in the business, hustling and grinding it out. A natural instinct is to keep doing the same thing and it’s challenging to change that mindset.

Relying on others is challenging. Asking for help often feels...

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Where To Begin

blog Oct 17, 2018

A common reason for not going after your goals is the challenge or the question of where to begin. This is especially true with larger goals, such as starting a company, writing a book or changing your life. The question of where to begin is a crucial one. When people fall victim to this question, they are making an excuse. This question is an uncomfortable one. But, the first step to achieving anything in life is the question of where to begin. The answer to this question is not that scary. Most people assume that they have to dive in feet first into a goal. Almost like doing a cannon ball into a pool. As you move towards beginning, I advise just dipping one toe in the water, then getting used to the feelings.

If you want to open a company, you don’t need to quit your job and just go for it. Dipping your toe can be as simple as watching a Youtube video on becoming an entrepreneur, or reading one chapter of a book about your subject area. The same thing applies to writing a...

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More About Challenges

blog Oct 10, 2018
Last week, I wrote a long post about the process of achieving your goals. I want to expound on the concept of your limitations. To recap, everybody has limitations that they assume only they have. Furthermore, they tell themselves that nobody will understand their limitations. In the past, I have looked around and saw that nobody around me is in a wheelchair or nobody around me needs as much assistance as I do. Technically, this is true. Technically, your limitations get in the way of what you want. A diabetic has to regulate their insulin. A working parent has to balance their professional and personal obligations. I have to balance the needs of my personal life with the challenges that I have to face minute-by-minute. Traditionally, it is taught that we have to ignore and focus on the possibilities. While you should focus on the possibilities, you should also focus on weaving in your challenges into the process. The irony is that, when you engage with your challenges in a positive...
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The Process of Change

blog Oct 06, 2018
In order for your life to change or get better, you have to change and get better. When most people have new goals, want to accomplish more, take their life to a new level or make a powerful mindset shift, they want their life to shift. Most changes fall short because people don’t implement a process to make that transformation. Transformation is challenging and takes discipline and true commitment. You can’t talk about saving money and pull out your credit card to buy a Louis Vuitton purse. You can’t talk about losing weight when you are eating a cheesecake. One of the keys to achieving your goals is having your actions be congruent with your words. If they don’t line up, then you are a hypocrite. To be honest, everyone is a hypocrite at some point or another. We have all said that we want something, but our actions are not congruent with what we are saying. It’s important to take a look at our actions and our words and have them be aligned.
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Get...
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The Process of Mindset Shifts

blog Sep 28, 2018

For the last few weeks, I have been talking about the power of mindset shifts. I have mainly focused on the psychology of the process. Now, I want to talk about something else.

When you make a mindset shift your life actually becomes more challenging. If you decide to eat healthy, you must resist temptations, buy more expensive groceries. There are other mindset shifts where the process isn’t so clear. For example, if you want to open a company or decide to write a book, the path is not as obvious.

I was fortunate enough that my first mindset shift was really direct. All I had to do was convince myself that I could have assistants help me out with my daily routine. The rest of the process was pretty straight forward. I simply needed to apply, find financial aid, find people to help me and so on. At the time, I thought these steps were challenging, but, when I look back, I see that these were pretty straight forward.

As I got older, the challenges that I took on and the mindset...

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The Emotions of Mindset Shifts

blog Sep 20, 2018
For the last few weeks, I have been describing the powerful effects of mindset shifts and how transformative they can be. Although a slight mindset shift can change your life, the follow through is more challenging. As soon as you make a mindset shift, a couple of things happen. First, your life becomes harder not easier. The second is that you have to deal with your subconscious, which will give you every reason why your mindset shift will not work. In addition, the people who you rely on for love and support might not embrace your epiphany.
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Yes, your life will become harder.
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As soon as you decide you want to lose weight, you have to find time to go to the gym. You probably have to go buy more expensive groceries. You have to avoid temptations at restaurants. When you are in a hurry, you can’t rely on fast food because there is nothing immediately available to eat.
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As soon as I decided to go to USC, I had to figure out a slew of activities that had always been taken...
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