Managing Stress on the Road to Success

I have spent an exorbitant amount of time, energy, and money studying what it takes to live out an amazing life. I read books, attend conferences, and try to learn how I can achieve amazing success despite my disability.

There have been times when I blamed all my stress on my disability. In the past, I have started thousands of sentences with the phrase if I were not disabled…. That action does not empower me. It also provided many negative emotions and created feelings of victimhood.

With the pursuit of amazing success can come additional stressors and overwhelming factors. In fact, most of the challenges in my life are not because of my disability per se. They are because of the fact that I am going after an amazing life. I chose the challenges of becoming a speaker, writing a book, becoming a husband, and becoming a father.  My job is to enjoy my life and take on the challenges in a positive way.

Most people in the U.S. don’t have $400.00 in case of an...

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Understanding the Feeling Stress

One challenge that we all face is being stressed or overwhelmed. If you want to live out an amazing life, there is going to be some stress, some overwhelming factors, and some growing pains. These feelings are just some sacrifices that you have to endure on your path to an amazing life.

Many people experience stress and overwhelming factors and let their feelings be roadblocks on the path to amazing success. There is reality and your reaction to reality.  Feeling stressed and overwhelmed can happen because of circumstances that  are genuinely giving you those feelings. For example, if you were brought up in a chaotic family or your parents were not emotionally stable people, that adds a certain kind of stress. There’s no doubt that these kinds of stressors influence the way you go about your life or your mindset. There are many stressors that I have to deal with because of my cerebral palsy. I have to deal with the stress of relying on people, having to deal with a...

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Do You Let Your Feelings Get in The Way?

goals May 05, 2019

Factors that get in the way of amazing success and your dreams is the way we feel about situations, the way we feel about performing activities, the way we feel about others, or the way we feel about life in general. This is a topic I read about in the 5 Second Rule, by Mel Robins.

When we think of feelings, automatically, we think about sensitive people who cry at movies or people who get their feelings hurt over a joke. Everybody has feelings about their own lives, what it takes to succeed, what gives them pleasure, and what gives them pain.

Robins writes that people are not afraid of hard work. They are afraid of stress. It’s not inherently hard to have to call customer service, but we all have feeling towards that. When we have to have a tough conversation, it’s not inherently hard, but it can be stressful. We play out negative scenarios in our heads and these feelings get in the way of habits and routines.

The reason bad habits are so attractive and good habits are...

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How To Change Your Habits

blog Apr 30, 2019

Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could change your habits as easily as you change your clothes? I believe that most people want to do the right thing and live an amazing life. Unfortunately, changing your habits is challenging because you have your narrative, feelings, the people around you, your subconscious, and other factors that get in the way.

If you want an amazing life you have to have a regimen of activities. Those activities need to be executed often. The way we accomplish our goals is the replication of habits and routines. You must have the mindset of amazing habits and routines. It takes a while adopt a new positive habit. I am not a believer in 100 percent changing your habits. If you eat healthy for 100 days or 200 days or even two years, you still might be tempted by unhealthy food. There are people who are sober for two decades, and suddenly start drinking again. In fact, they never lose the urge to drink. There are some habits that will be easy to change, and...

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Intentions vs. Reality

blog Apr 14, 2019

Intentions vs. Reality

Most people have great intentions. We intend to be happy, work hard, and live an amazing life. However, intentions are not always reality. We let feelings get in the way of reality and an amazing life. Very few people intend to sabotage themselves. Nobody intends to break a New Year’s diet in the first week of January. Nobody intends to sabotage their marriage.

Gratification

Human beings seek gratification. Part of having disciplined habits is being able to understand that positive habits don’t pay off right away and negative habits pay off almost immediately. For example, putting a cookie in your mouth, taking a sip of a cocktail after work, or turning on the television is immediately satisfying. On the other hand, going to the gym, reading a book, or any other positive habits take time to reap rewards. If you go to the gym and eat healthy, you might not see any results for a couple of weeks. You may even feel sore after the first few workouts or...

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Feelings and Habits

blog Apr 14, 2019

When people set goals, they are excited. However, when people are working on their goals, they have other feelings that can get in the way. A person who wants to lose weight does not always feel like going to the gym. A person who wants to improve their relationship may not feel like having a tough conversation. Every goal has activities that a person does not feel like doing. With regards to habits, these feelings can get in the way and can block out positive intentions.

Mel Robbins writes in her book The 5 Second Rule:

We like to think that we use logic or consider our goals when we make decisions but that’s not the case. According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, it’s our feelings that decide for us 95% of the time. You feel before you think. You feel before you act. As Damasio puts it, human beings are “feeling machines that think” not “thinking machines that feel.” And that’s how you ultimately make decisions–based on how you...

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Let's Get Real About Habits

blog Apr 06, 2019

One of the reasons that success is so challenging is because it’s hard to develop and sustain positive habits. I have written many times that if you want to become amazing, you have to have amazing habits and routines. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. However, it’s not as simple as a decision to develop positive habits and routines. There is the narrative that you have about life, social pressures, doubts, fears, other feelings, and neurological factors. These are not excuses to give into negative habits. This is meant to empower you to take control of your amazing success and your habits.

Breaking bad habits and installing positive habits can lead you to amazing success. As a disclosure, I struggle with my habits and I am obsessed with amazing success.

Many habits happen automatically without us thinking about it. They happen in the basal ganglia part of the brain. If the brain sees a pattern, it wants to be more efficient. So, you act without thinking about...

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Accomplishing Priorities

blog Mar 30, 2019

There is a big difference between defining your priorities and taking the necessary steps to actually accomplish your goals. The more congruent your priorities actually are, the more likely you are to accomplish your goals. Amazing people clearly define their priorities and have actions that are congruent with their goals. There are people who say, “one day I am going to open a company” or “on Monday I’m going on a diet.”

The first step is actually sitting down and defining what you want to accomplish professionally, personally, spiritually, financially, and beyond. This is not a wish list or a “someday I will get to my goals” list. This is a list to start today.

After you define what you want in the four buckets of priorities- professional, personal, growth, and miscellaneous- what are the critical tasks that need to be done on a consistent basis? For the professional goals, write down the tasks that need to be accomplished. Under the...

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Focus Your Mind on Amazing

blog Mar 09, 2019

Focusing on your priorities is a mindset issue. The people who are amazing have an intense focus on amazing. The opposite of priorities are distractions. Distractions may be social media, phone alerts, and anything that diverts attention from your priorities. Priorities and distractions are not straight forward. For example, when you are home, you can be distracted by a work call. During the day, you can be distracted with a personal call.

Every goal requires its own dedicated time, energy, and money. Focusing on amazing requires not being distracted from the goal. It’s also executing on every single step. When I am working, my priorities are communicating with my team and writing. One of the activities is writing. When I write, it’s me, my office manager, Jamila, and some music.

In a perfect world, distractions pop up and need to be attended to. If you are working on a project for work and you or a family member get sick, then your priority should change to deal with...

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Grow Yourself and Your Goals

blog Mar 09, 2019

An often overlooked priority is growing ourselves as human beings. This can be in terms of professional development, personal development, challenging our narrative, spiritual development, or getting over a mental block. Examples of this could be attending a conference, physical exercise, and other activities. It can even be improving our habits or setting new goals. At some point or another, we fall into a routine that is comfortable. If you are not conscious, then personal growth can be overlooked or even ignored. If you want an amazing life, then personal growth needs to be a priority.

One issue is that when you become busy and overwhelmed with other priorities, personal growth can be the easiest to put off. It’s easy to say, “I can’t go the gym because my kids need me,” or “I have no time to read because I am on a deadline.” Other examples of growth can be meditation, attending religious services, basically anything that indirectly helps you...

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