Notes About 2020 and Beyond

clarity Dec 18, 2020

This year has been one of the most unique years in our lifetimes. Whoever thought that we would be in the middle of the worst pandemic in a century? We all want to turn the page and move on. We also had to deal with a rambunctious election and issues dealing with race.  Instead of wanting to turn the page, just accept the fact that this period of time is part of our life experience.

 Over the years and dealing with my disability, I have learned that challenges need to be accepted and dealt with, not avoided. Some have dealt with it by denying it or blaming others or other countries. I look at the pandemic as a once-in-a-century occurrence and, for a couple of decades, the experts warned us that something like this could and probably would happen.

 Although my lifestyle changed a lot this year by not traveling, by not watching sports at my local watering hole, by not being able to go to the mall, I choose to focus on the blessings in my life.  This year was one of...

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Weaving In Your Challenges

Uncategorized Dec 11, 2020

We are still in the thick of dealing with the coronavirus, and we all want to get back to some semblance of normalcy.  Unfortunately, some people have just gotten tired of trying.  There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, but only if we all do the work.

One concept that I learned about and have really embraced is that in order to deal with my disability, I must weave my challenges into whatever I want to do.  When I want to do anything in my life, I must plan around my challenges.  I must do this in everything in my life.  I had to weave in my challenges when I went to college, when I started a family, even when I went to out on the town.  It’s frustrating.  It’s not fair.  But, it’s necessary.

The big ole wrench called the coronavirus has been thrown in all of our lives.  For at least the next few months we must live life assuming that this virus is going to alter our lives.  It might be personally or...

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Take Control of Your Life in 2021

Uncategorized Dec 04, 2020

Every year, many people set New Year’s resolutions, and, despite the pandemic, this year should not be any different. This year, our lives have been disrupted by the coronavirus. Unfortunately, we have a way to go before life returns to normal.

 Instead of being a victim, I would like you to take control of your life and put yourself in a better position. This means no more jokes about what day it is or no more jokes about not taking a shower. It was cute for about two weeks, but not now.

 As we enter the holidays, it’s tempting to miss life, but I want you to shift your focus to the future. Take December to plan out your future life. Take the time that you would spend traveling, going to Christmas parties, or shopping in the mall to really become productive.

  1. Clarify your goals. The first step in achieving your goals is clarifying them. The clearer your goals are, the more direction that you have. Saying that you want more money or that you will get fit does...
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To Accept or Not to Accept

Uncategorized Nov 24, 2020

We are at a critical junction with regards to the coronavirus and many people just accept that this is going to be our reality for a while.  There are two sides to looking at the word acceptance.  One side is being complacent and the other side is empowering.

 I live and understand both sides of the acceptance dilemma. I always accepted the fact that I will probably live with my disability and the ramifications of it for the rest of my life. What I never accepted was the fact that I could not have an amazing life. Every day I fight and claw for the chance to live an amazing life. I want to create a loving family, a business that inspires me, the ability to work and serve amazing people, and amazing experiences. In order for the latter to happen, I needed to accept the former. I spent countless days wondering if my disability was too much to deal with. However, I was always focused on creating an amazing life.

 We are well into dealing with this pandemic and most...

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Being Grateful in Challenging Times

Uncategorized Nov 20, 2020

Every year I write a blog about gratitude. It’s one of my favorite topics because I believe it is a principle and a tool for success.  It’s more than a feel-good concept.  In order to move forward in your life, it’s important to see the blessings in your life and use the tools at your disposal.  This is especially true in challenging times, and boy, 2020 is uniquely challenging.

 Let’s face it, 2020 has not been the year that we imagined.  We all have had our lives disrupted by the pandemic.  I had to change the direction that I was going in.  I was working on some exciting business ventures that would have been life changing and downright fun.  I had to postpone two big family trips and a couple of trips with friends.  Yet, my life is still amazing, and I view part of the year with a smile.  I spend a lot of time watching my kids well… be kids.  I have gotten gooder with my writing.  It...

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Great Expectations and the Goldilocks Rule

Uncategorized Nov 13, 2020

Part of being clear about your life is managing expectations. For you to live out an amazing life, you must manage your expectations while simultaneously being aspirational. Where people get into trouble is when their expectations are not met. People measure their lives and their happiness based on their expectations.

 For example, if I promised you that I would give you $100 in a week and I give you $75, you are going to be disappointed.  However, if I promise you $50 and give you $75 youre going to be ecstatic. The end result is exactly the same. The only thing that changed were the expectations.  Much of stress and frustration are born out of misguided expectations. When I was a kid and a teenager, my experiences were not that different. After all, all kids needed rides from their parents. Most of my friends were schoolmates and lived in my neighborhood and I had a pretty normal and great experience as a youth. My assumption was that if I kept on living my...

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What Are You Responsible For?

clarity Nov 06, 2020

 

Our lives are not independent of outside factors. We are dependent on the actions of others.  We are part of an ecosystem with other human beings. One characteristic of human beings is that we are not perfect beings. We all have different emotions, different mindset, and different experiences.  

 One component to an amazing mindset and an amazing narrative is personal responsibility.  With so many factors and so many random occurrences, it’s often challenging to decipher what we are and are not responsible for. In addition, with so many random occurrences coming at us, it’s often challenging to make sense of it all and to take personal responsibility for it. It’s even more challenging when you were born into a worse situation than someone else.

 My own personal mantra is my disability is not my fault, but it’s my responsibility. I am disabled because of a doctor’s negligence. However, I am responsible for making the best...

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Notes About 2021

Uncategorized Oct 30, 2020

There’s no doubt that 2020 has been one of the most unique and challenging years of our lives.  On television I heard 2020 referred to as “a long decade”. Although it’s been challenging for me personally and professionally, I feel that I have grown as a person.  I have enjoyed watching my boys, Andrew and Tyler, explore and grow.  I have enjoyed going for long rides in my wheelchair.  Lastly, I have grown as a writer.

It looks like this pandemic is going to be here for a lot longer than we expected.  Right now, we have about two months to go in this year of 2020, and it’s great time to at least think about how you want your life to look in 2021 and beyond.  Let’s face it, we have a little less control over lives.  We have fewer freedoms such as giving hugs, going to concerts, going to sporting events, family gatherings, etc. 

 This does not mean that we have to be at the mercy of the pandemic or...

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Limit- Don't Eliminate

Uncategorized Oct 23, 2020

We all have areas in our lives where we struggle, and it often feels as if we can only get rid of certain emotions, people, problems, feelings, or anything else that gets in the way.  A common example of this is getting rid of challenges. We all have challenges that if we get rid of we will feel unstoppable. 

One of the keys to an amazing mindset is how you deal with challenges. I teach that challenges are meant to be engaged with in a positive way. Challenges or obstacles can lead to some great triumphs.

My disability forced me to start thinking about success and mindset. Because of my disability I took an opportunity to learn what it takes to become successful and what mindset really is.  I did not ignore my limitations or try to cancel all negative emotions. The goal is to limit and channel negativity.

We cant ignore or cancel whatever we dont like, or whatever gets in the way of amazing success. Instead, we have to understand how it effects our life...

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Exploring the Victim Mindset

narrative Oct 16, 2020

No matter who you are, you have life coming at you all the time. You must deal with the agenda of others. You must deal with your own weaknesses, insecurities, and other challenges. Nobody has a perfect life. With so much coming at us, oftentimes we take on a victims mindset. I want to explore what a victim mindset is and show you how to rewrite your narrative to turn that mindset into an empowering one.

It would have been easy for me to take on a victim mindset, and, if Im not careful, a victim mindset can take over at any minute. It is so easy for a victim mindset to take over. A victim mindset is blaming our setbacks on outside factors. There is a difference between being a victim and having a victim mindset. The statement dont be a victim” never made sense to me. I feel that Im a victim of cerebral palsy. Minorities should not deny the fact that racism still exists. If you are robbed, then you are a victim of robbery. The number one goal...

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